Surf-n-Turf Maki Rolls

• 4 Corno Di Toro Chilies (or probably 6-8 fresno Chilies; yes, there will be leftovers, no, I don't have a smaller 1-shot recipe unless you intend to use a thimble for a picklejar)
• 3 cloves garlic, finely minced

In a saucepan, toast:

• 1 tsp cumin seed
• 1 tsp coriander seed
• 2 cloves 
• 1 tsp dark mustard seed
• 1 bay leaf

Toast until fragrant. Add:

• 1/2 cup cider or rice vinegar (I used Rice vinegar, but Cider would work equally well) Bring to a boil.

Fill your little 2-pint mason jar with the chilies. Pour the vinegar mixture in, along with a *small* pinch of salt. Slap the lid on, tighten, and ignore it for at least an hour or 2; overnight is MUCH better.

 

Marinade for the Tenderloin

This is a suribachi- think "Japanese Mortar and Pestle" and you'd be about half-right; it's actually more like a food grinder. Technique is up to the chef here, but in general one of these is handy. However, I'm aware that most of you probably don't have a suribachi, so you can use graters, the small prep bowl of a food processor, or whatever- the net result is likely the same, flavor-wise; I just like the suribachi because I can grind the ingredients to an even paste. You'll need, at the end of this all, the following ingredients:

• 1/4 cup of grated/ very well-smashed ginger
• 2-3 tbsp (or more, if you're like me) grated/ smashed garlic
• 1 tsp sesame seeds
• 1 tsp shoyu (soy) sauce
• 1 tbsp honey (I prefer raw honey for the flavor, but any will do)
• 1 scallion, sliced thin

Stir to combine, pour over steak (I prefer little plastic bags for this part) and drop it in the chill chest for a few hours, overnight is better.

 

Wasabi/ Cilantro/ Miso Mayo

Starting with the easy stuff, here's the rundown on the mayo: 

• 1 Cup Best Foods (or homemade...) mayonnaise
• 1 tbsp Wasabi Powder
• 1 +1/2 tbsp Red Miso paste (no, there are no substitutions- must be miso paste. If you have powdered miso, go outside and curse at yourself for a few hours, until you feel like punching yourself in the face. Then, you'll know how I feel when I hear the phrase "powdered miso".)

Put it all in a ramekin and mix it up well with a whisk/ fork. divide into half. Now, in a mini-food-prep, add:

• 1/2 cup cilantro (coriander Leaves for you limey-types)
• 1 tsp sesame oil

Pulse with the mayonnaise to blend thoroughly, put it in a squeeze bottle and set aside. (By "set aside" I mean "in the refrigerator." I think you ought to know basic food safety rules, so I'm not going to belabor them here.)

Langostinos, Baby.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? What's a Langostino? Well, it's mostly semantics, as you'll see, but here's the basics: A Langostino (from the Español Langosta, Lobster) is a subspecies of crustacean that is neither Lobster nor Prawn; its common name (Squat Lobster) sums it up. Bottom Line: Tastes like lobster, small and very sweet like prawns. It's a win-win, they're inexpensive ($20 for 3 lbs at Costco) and you will NOT need them all for this recipe. Good thing they're generally prefrozen.

Directions: add

• 1 cup (~8 oz) chopped Langostino tails
• 1/2 cup of our Mayo-sabi-so (above)
• 1/2 Fresno Chile, seeded and finely diced

Chop the langostinos coarsely; mix other ingredients together (start sparingly with the Mayosabiso! We aren't making soup, here, just enough mayo to hold it together.) Get it in your prep bowl, cover and get it into the frigde. Food Safety, see?!?

Slicin' and a'Dicin' and a' Choppin' that Meat, or Beef Fallout

Sear your Filet- in my case, with a filet weighing ~10 oz., that's about a minute on all sides in a wicked-hot skillet, followed by 5 minutes in a 350-degree oven. Sear nicely, drop it back into the marinade, cover and send everyone back to the fridge while you work on other stuff. If you're already to this stage, then I'd start the rice right after you pop this in the fridge.

You're going to be doing a reverse-roll here; that is to say, you're going to be making the maki roll rice-side-down. In the interest of brevity, and because books could (and have been) written about maki rolling, I'll leave you on your own for this part- but here's the basics: Distribute your sushi rice evenly over the nori (seaweed), and flip it over so it's rice-side down on a sushi-rolling mat that you've previously wrapped in plastic wrap.

At this point, you'll need the following things on hand and ready to go. In case you missed that, I repeat (a la Bourdain) get your mise en place together, my friend!

• Goat Cheese (I rolled mine in plastic to make it tube-shaped, you can do whatever- just keep it small)
• Avocado, sliced
• Langostino Mayomisabi (yes, that's a made-up word)
• Matchstick cucumbers
• Quick-pickled chilies

Lay them out as above, I'd advise at least twice as many chilies as shown in the picture.

A picture (series) is worth a thousand words.

Serve it.

Slice, apply to the top of your maki roll, and slice the maki roll into bite-sized pieces. Serve, garnished with more of the garlic Mayowasabiso.